


Eggnog

by Mercury Starlight (WoolandWater)



Series: Advent Challenge 2010 [3]
Category: Askewniverse
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-03
Updated: 2010-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-23 22:30:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/255750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoolandWater/pseuds/Mercury%20Starlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what it says on the tin. (A PWP involving alcohol and kissing. And then more than kissing. I know she said "making out" but they kept going, and I'm not going to stop them. XD)<br/>From the prompt: "Drunk on eggnog & making out"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eggnog

The apartment door slammed open, startling Silent Bob out of his nap on the couch. He looked up just in time to see Jay lowering his foot after having kicked the door open. He was carrying an armful of brown bagged groceries.

"Get up, tubby, we's got festive eats!" he yelled as he kicked the door shut behind him. Silent Bob rolled his eyes and got up, rearranging the fallen DVDs on the wall shelf which had been decimated by Richter Scale levels of wall-shaking. He followed Jay into the kitchen where he was already unloading his bag of goodies onto the counter.

"We got candy canes, rainbow candy canes, chocolate, hot chocolate, peppermint hot chocolate, sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, a couplea' Home Run cherry pies…I wanted to get real cherry pie, but the Quik-Stop was fresh out, snoogans…and the crowning achievement: two cartons of eggnog!"

Silent Bob raised an eyebrow and Jay threw his hands up in disgust.

"What the fuck do I look like to you, a fuckin' moron? That's what the other bag's for!"

He reached into the second bag and revealed a bottle of dark rum, a bottle of whiskey, some mulled wine mix and a bottle of Martinelli's.

"I know this one ain't alcoholic," he said, inspecting the label of the cider bottle, "But it's so fuckin' good I couldn't resist."

Silent Bob shrugged and broke open the package of sugar cookies. Martinelli's sounded good, but he couldn't wait to get into that eggnog and rum. Getting drunk with Jay at Christmastime was one of his favorite traditions.

 ****

Exactly one hour later, the two sat in the living room watching _It's a Wonderful Life_ on DVD and drinking their eggnog and rum. A little fake Christmas tree sparkled on the coffee table and occasionally Jay leaned forward and flicked at one of the little fake presents hanging off the little fake branches.

Each was thoroughly in his cups already, and Jay had begun taking quick swigs straight out of the rum bottle and chasing it with his (rum-filled) eggnog. Silent Bob had found himself well caught up in the film, as he usually got when they watched it, and he was completely occupied with Jimmy Stewart's various life and family problems when Jay yelled, "Y'know what? Fuck George fuckin' Bailey" very close to his ear, which pulled him out of the moment rather effectively.

"No seriously, fuck that guy," Jay slurred loudly. Bob shot him a, _'Do you mind?_ ' look which he ignored, "He's an asshole! He doesn't deserve Mary anyways, bitch should take the fuckin' kids and move her hot ass out to Jersey. Fuck, I love this movie!"

  _'Ahh, the 'I love everything' stage_ ,' Silent Bob thought and turned to watch Jay, waiting for the inevitable conclusion.

"I fuckin' love Christmas. I love this fuckin' cute little fuckin' tree, I love this fuckin' eggnog, I fuckin' love this fuckin'…this fuckin' couch, this couch is fuckin' comfy."

' _What the hell does the couch have to do with Christmas?_ ' Bob's look said, but Jay waved him off.

"No, fuck you, you know you love this couch," he leaned back against the arm and muttered into his own chest, "You love this fuckin' couch…"

Bob thought he might have finished off the list early and was momentarily disappointed before Jay started up again.

"I love fuckin' Christmas carols, fuckin' Frosty the Snowman or some shit, I love those fucked-up-ass fuckin' claymation movies, those things are creepy as hell. I love fuckin' Christmas lights and fuckin' presents on Christmas morning, I love you."

 _'There it is,_ ' Bob thought and waited patiently for what came next.

"Hey, I fuckin' love you, you know that?" Jay asked as though he were disclosing some great secret; as though he had not gone through this script a thousand times before, "You're so fuckin' chill and awesome. You're my best fuckin' friend. And you're so hot…you're so fuckin' hot, Silent Bob. Get your fine ass over here."

Jay clambered into Bob's lap, all wriggling lanky limbs for a moment before wrapping his arms around Bob's neck and snuggling close. Bob hugged back and kissed Jay's cheek. Jay gazed into Bob's eyes, his own swimming with alcohol and lust, and kissed Bob on the lips.

"Mmm, eggnog," he muttered and smiled into the kiss.

The two lingered in a series of long, slow kisses and Bob slipped a hand under Jay's t-shirt, stroking the soft, warm skin of his back, his side, his stomach. His hand made its way up to Jay's nipple and he traced his thumb around it, smiling as he felt it harden at his touch. Jay moaned into his mouth and thrust his splayed fingers into Bob's hair, pulling as if he could somehow force their faces closer together. Bob broke away, transferring his lips back on to Jay's cheek, then on to his neck. He bit his sensitive earlobe and smiled wider when Jay moaned louder. He still lingered over Jay's nipple, flicking the pad of his thumb across the sensitive flesh. Each time it passed, Jay twitched slightly, every touch was a tiny electric shock through his body.

Bob shoved Jay away, toward the arm of the couch, and Jay looked confused for the moments before he recognized the very clear message on Bob's face.

"Ooo, fuck yeah," Jay muttered, and unbuttoned his pants. He leaned back against the arm of the sofa again as he removed his jeans and boxers entirely, tearing off his shirt for good measure. Bob scooted forward and ran his hands across Jay's naked thighs, teasing his way to Jay's already erect cock. Then he leaned in and took the head into his mouth.

Jay hissed with pleasure and pulled on Bob's hair again. He thrust his hips forward, coaxing his dick further into the eager mouth. Bob rolled his tongue over the head repeatedly, bobbing his head and taking in a little more each time he moved forward until his lips touched balls. Jay's moans turned into whines, and Bob knew he'd be getting close soon.

' _He's so sensitive when he's drunk_ ,' Bob thought as he stirred Jay's balls with one hand, clinging to his hipbone with the other, ' _If only we did this more often when he was sober, I'd know the difference._ '

Jay began his mantra, the string of words and noises he always spat out nearly involuntarily when he was close to coming, "Nngh, fuck yeah, fuck, just like that, uh yeah, fuckin' love you so fuckin' much, make me come, yes! Yes! Augh!"

This last cry was cut short with a gasp as he unloaded streams of hot cum into Bob's mouth. Bob swallowed all of it, licked his way up Jay's shaft once more for good measure, and pulled himself forward until he was face to face with the still recovering blond. Jay's eyes focused again, and he stroked Bob's cheek gently.

"Get me into that bedroom and fuck me now," he commanded. Bob scooped him up off the couch, carried him into the bedroom, and did as he was told.


End file.
